Written By Reverend Emily Falwell
Everyone knows that the Catholic Church has a problem with pedophile priests that goes back centuries. These cases have received widespread media coverage since at least 2002, and yet the Church has failed to come up with an effective response to this epidemic, and has in many cases lied, made excuses, and helped cover up the actions of the perpetrators. This weekend, Pope Francis will be meeting with key bishops in order to discuss how the Church should respond to the thousands of allegations of child abuse by Catholic priests on six continents. Hopefully, the Pope will finally put his foot down and take action to end this crisis once and for all, because, statistically speaking, Catholic churches have statistically toppled everything else we traditionally think of as activities dangerous to children, and has internationally become one of the worst environments for children around the world..
No other global institution has made news headlines as frequently as the world’s oldest Christian church for the frequent practice priests molesting children and the Church covering it up and helping the pedophiles avoid local authorities and legal consequences. 180 Priests in New Jersey alone have been credibly accused, and over 300 in the state of Pennsylvania. We’re talking about an institutional cover-up of thousands of child molesters here, and that’s just the recent cases. The Catholic Church’s willingness to turn a blind eye to the crimes of their priests goes back centuries, and only now that these cases are getting widespread media exposure is the Church addressing the issue..
Pope Francis said in his opening remarks yesterday morning that “the people of God look to us and expect from us not simple and obvious condemnations, but concrete and effective measures.” Normally, I wouldn’t offer free advice to Christian churches. But, for the sake of the children, I would like to propose a solution to the Catholic Church’s priest problem: all church functions should be restricted to ages 18 and up. Now, the Catholic Church probably won’t like this solution, but it is one hundred percent guaranteed to work. Besides, the Church has been promising a crackdown on predatory priests for decades without results, so drastic times call for drastic measures. Plus, this policy has already been implemented by a number of Satanic churches, including The Church of Satan and my own Temple of Lucifer.
I would like to invite Christian churches to join us followers of Lucifer in an interfaith council against clerical abuse, beginning with the principle that religion should be for adults only. I know we have a lot of theological differences, but I think we can all agree that the safety and wellbeing of children is more important than arguments over religious doctrine. Please take the pledge and join us in restricting all church services to ages 18 and older. Not only will this policy eliminate the risk of the church becoming a sanctuary for predatory priests, it will also prevent your church from becoming a haven for the indoctrination of children.
If religion is the opiate of the masses, then perhaps it’s time we started regulating it like we do with other narcotics. Just like you have to be over 18 to make an educated decision about tobacco, and over 21 to make an informed and responsible decision about alcohol, we believe that children are still in the process of developing the critical thinking and reasoning skills required to make an informed decision about religion, leaving them vulnerable to brainwashing and manipulation. So please, Christians, think of the children, and leave religion to consenting adults.
Reverend Emily Falwell is a writer, street preacher, and transgender activist originally from the town of Thessaly in upstate New York. Emily is an ordained minister through an online church that will literally ordain anyone, and holds a degree in theology from Miskatonic University, a small liberal arts college in Arkham, Massachusetts. As the owner of her own church, the Temple of Glycon, Emily is a woman entrepreneur in the traditionally male-dominated field of organized religion.